Caitlin: Well, after 3 days of epic car travel I must say I'm tuckered. But not more so than my parents who consistently seem uber exhausted. But perhaps that's just life after 50. Our first night we stayed in Ogallala, Nebraska and ate at the attached steak house. Danny, I'll let you explain it...
Danny: Thanks Caitlin, but lets get real. Epic is hardly a word to describe what we have just experienced. With 3 hours between gas fill ups and an average of 1 Caitlin potty break between, I cannot classify this as an epic journey. The "epic" title deserves a grand adventure that stretches physical and mental limits and of course disregards personal hygiene. Fortunately I have met the hygiene challenge by receiving disapproving reviews from Caitlin. Luckily the other Clarks were able to withhold comment.
Caitlin: Alright jerkface, first off your hygiene leaves much to be desired recently. Your stank dwarfs that of the factory farms we passed in Nebraska and Idaho which put out hundreds of gallons of poo per day; that's saying something. But to actually say something about our trip which Danny has so obviously ignored, it has been really interesting. We have basically (unintentionally) followed the famous Oregon Trail. Those early years of playing the computer game have totally prepared us to know what not to do out here like caulking the wagon to ford such rivers like the Snake River, not to shoot too many buffalo, and avoid measles. Valuable information on the rough terrain of the far west.
Danny: Speaking of the terrain, we cannot forget to mention the miles upon miles of never ending nothingness. It was tough, but luckily I was quick to react to boredom with sing along songs with Danny. The countryside flew by singing along with "Play that Funky Music," and Queen's "Somebody to Love" (I could tell my tonal range was far beyond anything Caitlin could have imagined). As perfect as these moments during the trip sound, there were dark times. There were a number of interactions in the overstuffed Corolla that ended with "I'm going to kill you!" One specific situation arose when we were listening to a radio program, and I mistakenly identified one male voice as being owned by another. To my surprise, the ignorance I portrayed in voice recognition infuriates others when I disagree. Upon proving my theory wrong, slaps, threats of death, dying, and murder, along with near tearful disbelief of being with someone so "dense" resolved the issue. Miraculously we continue to speak.
Caitlin: I'm sorry, I'm going to have to cut this blog short. Those "threats" were more like promises.
HAHA! You thought I went off to legitimately kill Danny. Muah-ha-ha! But no, that will have to wait until tomorrow. The "incident" in the car was one full of laughter and giggles. But soon after the "incident" we topped a giant "hill" and the most magnificent view appeared. It was flat but on such a clear day you could see for miles. Mass agriculture never looked so good. At the next rest stop we used there was even a special circular pen for your horses because obviously, everyone traveling through the area must have horses. Duh. It was also a great view when we came down through the Columbia Gorge with all the rocks cutting away in crazy colors and the super blue water of the Columbia River. Pure Amazingness. The only negative part was the fact that Danny was driving and was so interested in the scenery we almost died a few times. No big deal. I wear my seat belt consistently.
Well folks this is the end of our bloginess for the day. The battery is about to run out on my laptop and it may only be 9:30 here but back home it's 11:30 and we've been up st 5:30 am the last few days. Hopefully you've enjoyed this great start to our Portland adventure as much as we have! More funness to come like dealing with new parking meter systems that don't take the state quarters and adjusting to the state law that doesn't allow you to pump your own gas, an attendant has to do it for you.
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